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May 24th, 2005


11:46 pm - another day
well its another day gone bye on the ike and again it turns into a shitty day i feel like im about ready to cry right know for some reason. maybe its the fact that im like the loneliest soul on earth, or maybe its because im the lowest person on the tip of the spear you know it goes watson/bourke graudzeus pander mcgee ratliff then me the guy taking it up the ass all the time saturday night it took me forever to get to sleep i cried myself to sleep that night maybe im depressed whos to say but i just can't keep myself in a good mood :( hopefully someday ill find me somebody
Current Mood: [mood icon] sad
Current Music: reba mccentire for my broken heart

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May 23rd, 2005


12:20 am - another day another dollar
and yet again another day where i get so pissed off at the navy and life in general today i started thinking about how alone i am sitting on top of the 010 level looking out to the stars and moon and know that i am still just an empty shell of a person maybe someday ill find someone hopefully. man im tired and pissed if i wasn't in the navy then maybe i would have a nice wv girl who liked my accent because she had it to i don't know it sucks being different oh well
Current Mood: [mood icon] sad

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May 21st, 2005


11:51 pm - life in general
And here we go another shitty day in the navy it all goes well for a couple of days i had thought that i had proved myself to stratton as not a sucky observer so the watch is going by easy i get sent up top to relieve ratliff of his watch so he can get some sleep and it is cool i stand around chill with the other guys on watch when a sn comes in that has pissed me off many times before she starts demanding for me to tell her why im up there and that i should get down :( i barely kept from cussing her out i mean she made 3rd class she should learn how to treat people right you know. that pissed me off then i find out that a friend of mine is going up to see the old man because of that same sn claiming she was sleeping on watch but she was awake the entire time ;( i almost hate that girl. While thinking about that i remembered what my po indoc was and wonder if hers is going to be the same it makes me wish that they tought more respect and such during indoc and boot camp. reason # 1155 to get out of the navy because there are more people like her and they are the ones who will be chosen to go up. damn its so frustrating heh. also still single going on 2 years know :(.
Current Mood: [mood icon] depressed
Current Music: how can i help you to say goodbye reba mcentire

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April 11th, 2005


12:36 pm



Aloof and animalistic, you belong to the Gangrel Clan. Closely associated with werewolves, you are the shapeshifting vampire. You prefer nature than to live in the city and prefer the company of animals than of humans. You are more known to keep to yourself then to help others. You are the lone wolf of the decendents of Caine.

What Vampire Clan Do You Belong To?

Test Created By [info]oronoda</font>


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August 17th, 2004


10:57 am
wv haters :P


You Know You're From West Virginia When...


You only knew one or two Republicans as you were growing up.

You actually know someone who has sold their vote for a bottle of liquor.

You've never seen a local ballot with anything but Democratic candidates.

You think Senator Byrd should be nominated for Sainthood.

You've seen Senator Byrd's name on a sign in front of a bridge or highway
construction project.

You know what commodity cheese is.

You've been asked to give someone a ride to the post office on "check day."

You know what "check day" is.

You have avoided the post office on "check day."

You've seen a picture of John L. Lewis hanging on someone's wall right
between the picture of Jesus and JFK.

You know who John L. Lewis is.

You know what a Tipple is.

You know what a slate dump is.

You played on a slate dump as a kid.

You know someone who actually did go to Pruntytown.

She same guy got his head shaved and "fell down the steps" at the court
house a couple of times before being sent off.

Everyone who works at the court house is related to someone else who works
there.

You sometimes call a paved road "the hard road."

You know someone who has driven to a neighboring state to get "real beer"
instead of the 3.2 stuff.

You've bought fireworks from the same guy with the real beer.

The state where this guy went might be called "O-hi."

"Vacation" means driving through Wyatt on the way to Morgantown.

Down south to you means Kentucky.

Stores don't have bags; they have pokes.

You cook green beans for hours.

You know what a real tomato is, and have a recipe for candy ones.

Your parents have threatened to have you sent to Pruntytown.

You can watch someone order a hotdog and know in what part of the state they live.

You know that Serpent Mound was not made by snakes.

You know at least one couple who went to Virginia or Maryland to get married.

You can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from West Virginia.





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May 20th, 2004


12:17 am - yep here i go again
Yep its another one of those internet dating sites. you know the one you fill out this long application and it adds you to their list and your like wow at all the stuff that you can do. then you see you got to pay money for it oh well at least my name is on there know as oarien anyhow another night at work lots of books to read music to listen too but not much work to do. went fishing yesterday it felt real good sitting there drinking a beer and putting a worm on the line and casting it im supposed to do it again this friday i don't know we will see. I looked in the 5 star today and it said the a couple of ac's made third i was kind of surprised when i seen johnson's name on the list that guy has an ego bigger than my tummy heh and making third has probably just inflated it. I got stopped by security this morning and had to wait an hour for them to finally let me go so that was a blast. oh well laters

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May 16th, 2004


01:18 am - Cool quiz wierd results though :)
Love
*Light Angel*- Blessed with patience and hope. You
are endlessly helpful. Your love of life and
your ability to forgive often amazes people.
You live to help. You genuinly beleive that
everyone is good....inside. You are protective
and caring. No challenge is to great for you
though you can sometimes be neive and taken
advantage of.


good......dark`~Angelz~`light......evil
brought to you by Quizilla
Current Mood: [mood icon] scholarly
Current Music: everything

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01:13 am - magic personality quiz

Your Q Score is: 7

The Q score ideally should be as small as possible, indicating maximum agreement among elements. However, even a tiny Q score may not mean optimal functioning, since all four elements may in fact be relatively undeveloped.

Your Primary Mythical Creature

Water Types
The main strength of the Water types is feeling. The second element indicates the most probable focus for this emotional expression.

Mermaid
Water with Air

Astrologically associated with Pisces and the Twelfth House

Mermaid types are warm and caring in a passive, receptive way. They are given to daydreaming and to contemplation, a combination that can make them seem curiously absent and fey. They are among the most unworldly of all the types. Despite this they have a strong ability for clear, rational thinking that can be startling. They seem to have a deep, intuitive understanding of the oneness of the universe. They have a desire to help the world at large and are acutely aware of and sensitive to suffering. This is partly because they do not recognize the customary boundaries between people, other living things, time, space, this world and the Otherworld. They are frequently psychic. They can be brilliantly original and highly creative. They are usually regarded by others as benign eccentrics or as plain weird.



Your Shadow Creature

Fire Types
All the Fire types have problems relating to anger and aggression. The weakest element indicates the main focus of these problems.

Phoenix
Fire and Earth

This shadow is prone to a sense of stagnation due to lack of motivation and laziness. Nothing durable is ever produced. Practical activities may never be embarked upon. There is an underlying sense of futility and hopelessness. Disillusionment results from their lack of confidence that they can change anything for the better, and in any case they do not have the will. At the same time there is an underlying grandiosity and even megalomania reflected in their dreams and aspirations. They need to feel special. Instead, they may simply overindulge or neglect themselves physically. The biggest obstacle of weak Earth is to overcome self-centeredness and greed; the biggest obstacle of weak Fire is to overcome anger and aggression.

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01:00 am - hmm
Yep its 1:00 in the morning and im stuck down here in the belly of a ship half asleep. Its not that bad though I mean mess cranking in s-11 nights I don't do much and i don't hear about much but other than that and the hours (12 hours of doing nothing) hehe. I am seperated from a lot of my friends and I sleep all the time. It seems i/I (damn I's I keep forgetting that I have to Capitalize ALL I's or its bad grammer :P) have been taken out of the loop on what is going on around me i learn some wierd stuff JJ's made second and will be out soon tiffanies going to be changing commands or something graudzeus is... hmm. well hes always the same so I cannot really say anything new about him. I hear that the division is suffering under the new leadership of Stratton and senior. Commander is farting in the office and making jokes. I think that armaggedon is going to happen or something. Oh yeah and ratliff's showing up on time for work. Heh I hope tiffany will be ok when she goes to whereever she is going to. Maybe she'll call or something more often. Even if i/I (AHHHHH) am cranking im still her friend. Maybe im just crazy or maybe this is the incoherent ramblings of a tired sailor who cares I still have 4 hours to go.
:)

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February 14th, 2004


08:21 pm - Watch today "yes i am in the navy"
Ok you have got to bare with me on this one. I guess this would be my bitch session for today. You know I am going to let it all out get it off my chest and hopefully I can get over it or be able to breath easier.
umm where to start.
ok i got on watch today at 3:30 p.m. i had a w-1 watch which meant i was standing up on the ship all by my self over in the designated area for the watchstander to be in and you would be amazed at all the stuff that pops into my head. I think the first thing that popped into my head was I HATE THIS PLACE, and not because of the watch either. Its the ship itself the command the breathing in the dusty air the constantly getting bitched at its the coming home every night after everyone else except for the duty personal because i have to stay behind and finish up whatever they don't freaking do. That sucks!! Its the constantly getting nagged at for having getting paint on my uniform and being expected to by a new pair of coveralls when i get some paint on my uniform (thats about 50 bucks out of my pocket). Its the getting my shoes all shined up the night before ( i mean they look glossy) and then coming in to work and having to walk from the 50th street van drop off all the way to the faf and then get bitched at by my high chain of command because my shoes are not shiny after i step into a mudpuddle or scuff em up on the 10 minute walk in to work(AHHHHHHH). Its the not being able to sleep most nights for some odd reason because i have too much to think about and then being late for work and having to write a 5 page essay on not being late as well as coming in to work at 600 am instead of the normal 630. Its the fact that not a damned person listens to me and considers me and freaking retard who does'nt have any idea what in the world i am talking about. I hate this place I mean come on should'nt i get some satisfaction out of my job. Its the fact that I have to freaking play video games constantly or go freaking drinking my life away too forgot about all the crap that i put up with at work. I mean ok some division are worse than ours but come on. just a little break once just once. also its the fact that there are 4 people that do the rehab work, the meat and potatoes of us being in the freaking shipyard. and us being ahead of all but one division in our rehab and because we are not seen that often on the faf the ones who do the admin work get all the congrats and all the freaking bjom's and pats on the back and crap its bull if i wanted to go tad somewhere and there was a spot open then the person doing the admin work will get first dibs on it because they are seen in the office more often and seem like their doing more work. Even though us 4 are on the ship breaking our backs to get the freaking ship done (ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh) I am telling the truth I start laughing know and the upper part of my back starts hurting so i have to stop laughing... Oh yeah and then theres the thing that this hole is changing me to something i do not want to be before i joined the navy i was the nicest person and i am still pretty nice but i have been surprising myself for the last 3 months i have been cussing at ivan for little things and it is surprising me about the type of person this place is changing me into. I rarely get the oppurtunity to smile nowadays i usually have a grimace or frown.grrrr. I just wanted last night to call my friend andy an idiot for the way he was acting but i was able to stop myself that just is not like me. I don't know what is going on maybe i hve it the secret age 20 puberty where you go into asshole stage but i am going to do my damndest to stop it.
ooh and there is more that i thought about for those 4 hours. was my love life after i joined the navy i actually had one during "A" school but i wish i didn't I mean before i joined the navy i only went out on a date with one girl for 18 years and that was my 12th grade year and it was a disaster literally. I got into a car wreck (my friend was driving) and the girl i had taken to the carnival and her friend she brought with her and her sister who we picked up were all in one car without seat belts (we were idiots i never go out without wearing my seat belt know) but everyone on the passenger side of the car was well 1 was confined to a wheel chair one died after the wreck and one died in the hospital *sigh* and i found out afterwards from her friend in the wheel chair that she really really liked me (crapola) maybe she was the one you know you heard the theory that everyone has a soulmate maybe the young lady who died that really like me was it and i am know forever destined to be alone. I don't know I do know that "A" i did not have any other girlfriends or go on dates until her and she was the only one during my school years" and "B" i had one more girlfriend afterwards to this time and that was at "A" school. *sigh*. I don't know. I think that is one of the reasons why i cannot sleep at night. If only shulz had not forced me out of bed that evening then i would not have taken cherlyn out on a date and we would not have started dating, and i would not have fallen in love. *sigh* I am a different kind of guy you see the main reason i did not date was that i had a slightly overprotective mother and she refused to let me date or bring people to the house but she always wondered why i never went to the school dances. I am not going to go there just to sit down or walk around talking to my friends.*drat*
and because i did not want to have sex until i got married that was me you can call me old fashion but that is the way i am until "A" school i mean i really fell in love with this girl i would do anything for her and then one day we went to a hotel and yes i lost my virginity at the age of 19 after dating her for 2 months. then after 3 weeks she just stopped talking to me no calling no throwing pebble at my window at night no more cuddling up on a picnic table on a midsummer night listening to music and watching the stars and of course making out.*sigh* I was heartbroken because i knew what love was and i had lost it. So know i don't go looking for sex or just playing those stupid games kids play but real love and i can't find anybody *anyone* that why i think my theory about the young lady who died is true (bows his head in shame) I can't talk to girls about dating matters or anything of that nature. and i cannot tell when a girl likes me or is flirting with me so i won't be dating someone for a while. i mean girls can talk to me and i enjoy when i can sit there and listen to their troubles and then try to offer advice. but ask me to go up to some girl i don't know and ask them to go on a date i cannot do it. *sigh* I prayed to god to give me the strength and courage to be able to do it but i am a chicken shit so i guess i will continue having long sleepless nights *tear* there was this girl back in highschool before the one i took to the carnival who i had a deep crush on all the way back to 8th grade i think when she transfered to my high school but she dated one of my friends and kept dating all these people i knew and didn't know but she came to me for advice and i loved to make her laugh, and i am still doing it 7 years after meeting her that is horrible. *sigh* oh well...
hopefully writing this and hearing whatever comments and emails you guys send to me you can send me advice on this and how to help myself better.
hopefully you have my email addy here.
"from a distance.. i can see you,
dancing closely with somebody new,
but i can't hold you... like i want to.
but i can love you,.. from a distance..
I'll always love you, from a distance."

Gnight
Current Mood: [mood icon] sad
Current Music: ataris evanesence and any sad country song i can find.

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